Create your own Sunshine
Who doesn’t love that cute red head, little orphan Annie and her infamous song, “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow”? I’m sure we can all sing it, “It’s only a DAY AWAY”. Which is great and hopeful but sometimes tomorrow seems so far away. Why wait to feel the warming rays of that sunshine in your life when you are able to feel it today? You are incredibly powerful and can create that sunshine and those warm feelings right now if you wanted. We don’t have to wait, ever, if we don’t want to.
We’re not victims to our circumstances and then made to feel a certain way. We experience life through the THOUGHTS we give to those circumstances* (Read more about that here). If you don’t want to wait until tomorrow or until the circumstance is fixed to feel a certain way, you don’t have to! You create how you feel by the thoughts you choose to hang on to and believe.
I hear this so frequently that someone says or does something we don’t like and then we think it’s because of it that makes us feel a certain way.
Let me illustrate this for you: Sally is having a great day. She wakes up happy and just feels good. She decides she’s going to run out and grab somethings from the store so she can try this new recipe. She gets in her car and realizes she’s out of gas. So she goes to the gas station but the pump she’s at is out of order. So she goes around to another one. She heads out and makes it to the grocery store parking lot and finds a space right up front. As she’s getting out of her car someone yells at her and accuses her of taking their spot. Completely caught off guard she starts apologizing but they just shake their head and speed off. She’s a little bothered by this as that wasn’t her intention.
She goes inside and as she’s filling her cart that same person from the parking is now talking to another person and very clearly talking about her. Totally uncomfortable she gets her things and tries to hurry out of there. At the cash register the cashier is unsmiling and borderline rude, the bagger filled her bags to the brim so now each bag is super heavy. Sally just feels frustrated by this whole outing.
She leaves to her car and starts lifting the heavy, overfilled bags into her trunk when the handle tears off one of the bags and sends the contents all over the ground. She shakes her head and in complete exasperation says to herself, “well, it goes with the rest of the day”. On her way home she notices she hits every red light. She just wants to get home and to forget all about her store excursion.
But when she gets home her kids have made breakfast and left a huge mess. She’s so over the top at this point that she’s ready to crawl back in bed and start over again.
You Don’t Have To Wait
We’ve all had days similar to Sally. We may not have been yelled at or had all these things happen in the same sequence but there are those kinds of days where everything just seems to go wrong. These are the days where Annie’s song offers us some solace and relief – tomorrow, it’s only a day away! But what I want to tell you is that you DON’T HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW TO FEEL BETTER NOW.
We could argue and say that the reason Sally’s day went sour so fast was due to her circumstances, but it’s not true. She wasn’t feeling annoyed because the gas pump was out of order. She wasn’t upset because that person accused her of something. She wasn’t upset because they were talking about her. Sally was annoyed because of her thoughts about the gas pump. She was upset because of her thoughts about the person that accused her. She was bothered because she THOUGHT the bagger should have bagged things differently.
Sally created a negative situation for herself because of her thinking about the circumstances. The first circumstance at the gas station started a chain of events in her line of thinking that created her outcome. She felt bothered and annoyed and thought that things should be differently. The gas station should have placed an out of order sign on the pump so she didn’t park, get out, and get ready to pump her gas only to realize she’d have to get back in her car and move to another.
This annoyed feeling and thinking things should be differently than they were had already given her brain a line of thinking that now was going to work to look for. That was the focus she had given herself -without even realizing it. So at each stop light – again, focused on that annoyed feeling and thinking that she shouldn’t have to get EVERY red light. That person in the parking lot SHOULDN’T have accused her of something she didn’t intentionally do. That person also SHOULDN’T talk about her. The cashier SHOULD have been friendly. The bagger SHOULD have known not to fill the bags so full. The bag SHOULDN’T have broken. The kids SHOULD have cleaned up their mess. She SHOULD have had a wonderful day – she woke up happy. What’s going on?!
Sally’s brain is looking for evidence and providing evidence to prove her thoughts true. How differently would it have been if Sally thought at the gas station, “Oh, it’s out of order. No biggie. I’ll just pull up to the next pump.” – Not a problem. Then at the red lights, “I’m not in any hurry. It’s a great day. I can listen to my music a little longer.” In the parking lot, “It wasn’t my intention to steal any space from any one. If it really bothers her I can move. Oh, she drove off. She must not really want it anymore.” – Inside the store, “There’s that same person, it looks like she’s talking about me. I know I didn’t do it maliciously and I was willing to move. I can let her be wrong about me.” – everything that she’s thinking and feeling now are of contentment. It’s not a big deal. None of these things are big deals and she’s not getting frustrated. Her brain isn’t looking for evidence of negativity. It’s looking for evidence that it’s not a big deal and it’s providing that for her. She feels okay about everything because that’s how she chooses to focus on the circumstances.
Do you see how we CREATE our reality? We don’t get to choose our circumstances. But we do get to choose how we INTERPRET and think about those circumstances. Your brain is amazing and wants to be busy. It will find what you tell it to look for. We do this unconsciously most of the time which is why we think it’s really the circumstances fault that we feel a certain way but it’s NOT. Be intentional. Give your brain a conscious direction to go.
At the end of that one shopping trip – an hour maybe? Sally went from feeling great to wanting the day to be over and wishing that tomorrow could come sooner. We don’t have to feel that way. We don’t ever have to waste our time waiting for tomorrow so we can feel better. You can feel better NOW.
Your Thoughts Are Powerful
Your thoughts are powerful! What you think about you will find. Remember, your brain is going to look for EVIDENCE to prove your thoughts true. Be careful what you choose to FOCUS on. Try it. Try it today. How do you want to feel?
If you want to feel good then your thoughts need to be in line with that. You might not want to feel good. There are days that I want to feel annoyed and I don’t want to be happy in that moment. But the difference is that I am CHOOSING to feel that way deliberately. Which also gives me a way out when I want it. I can choose to feel upset knowing that it’s my choice and I can choose to feel better when I’m ready to. I’m not at the disposal of my circumstances. My circumstances don’t need to change for me to feel better. I decide when I’m ready to change. This is empowerment and freedom.
The next time you find yourself having one of “those days” it’s time to stop and take a look at what’s circling inside that head of yours. What thoughts are you having that is causing those feelings? Write them down. You’ll see a pattern of thoughts that create those feelings. Then you decide what you want to do about it.
The sun will come out tomorrow. It can also come back out today. You determine when you feel better by the thoughts you keep. Give your brain a conscious path to focus on. How do you want to feel today? Right now???
Try it and let me know how it goes for you!
Still feeling crummy? Need help working through your thoughts? Set up a MINI!!! It’s FREE! It’s just a chat. 30 minutes. You get to choose what we talk about. I’ll coach you on anything you need help with for free. That’s it. Book that HERE
The Life Coach School – Brooke Castillo