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Why speaking in absolutes is hurting you

 In Blog

We’ve all said it and believed it…

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Nothing is certain except DEATH and TAXES” but still we tend to speak and live in these absolutes A LOT more than we realize and it’s not a good thing.

How many times have you said recently something with the words: Always or Never? When I was first married I didn’t realize how often I spoke in these absolutes and each time I did my husband would say, “really? NEVER???” I’d roll my eyes and say, “you know what I mean”. But up until that point I just really didn’t even think about what I was saying and how much of it I was actually believing.

How often do you say these things?

Think about it:
I’ve never been able to…
My kids never…
I’ll never be able to…
I’ll never get that…
You never…
I could never do that…
or
You always…
__________ always does that.
It’s just something I’ve always done.
My kids always…
They’re always…

There really are very few things that can be said in absolutes everything else isn’t certain and should not be given an absolute.

 

The problem with absolutes

The problem with absolutes is that you carry around negative energy and thinking and it DOES hurt you. It creates limiting beliefs and holds us back from living as full of a life as we could have. Each time we say “I’ll never…” we’re practicing that thought until it eventually becomes a belief and a habit for us.

Challenge those thoughts. Don’t allow those thoughts to stay. Don’t even entertain them. When your brain wants to go to scarcity and thinking that you could never have something, challenge it. WHY can’t you have it? What’s the benefit of keeping that thought? Is it serving you or is it just keeping you stuck?

So challenge it, ask yourself WHY you’re thinking it, then get rid of it.

Don’t believe what you hear

Psychiatrist and Clinical neuroscientist, Dr. Daniel G. Amen has named thoughts like these limiting thoughts as: ANTS aka Automatic Negative Thoughts. He admonished us to beware of our thinking. He said:
“Don’t believe everything you hear – even in your own mind.”

Just because you’ve held onto a belief that “I’ll never…” doesn’t mean it’s TRUE. It’s just a thought and as we all know thoughts CAN be changed. Replace those thoughts with others that WILL serve you.

“I’ll never make x amount of money.” -Challenge it: WHY not? Why can’t you?
Then stomp on those “ANTS” – Don’t allow them to stay. Then CHANGE the thought:

“Everything is figuroutable” -Marie Forleo
“I can totally make x amount of money.”
“I’m absolutely capable of figuring this out.”

Your thoughts are POWERFUL

Realize how powerful your thoughts are. If you believe you CAN’T have something, that you’ll NEVER have something, I guarantee you won’t get it. You’ll make sure it’s true. Your thoughts will create that reality for you.

So if you shift your thinking from scarcity and negativity and get out of fixating on absolutes you can change your reality. Try on thoughts that create the results you want. If this is your focus, positivity and determination you can achieve your goals – even the little ones.

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